The Triangle System
After four months of incubation and product testing in South Carolina, we're ready to take the world by storm. Whether you need help in the office, home, or field, there's a Sambo ready to help. Our groundbreaking Triangle System sorts doers into Field and House specialists, ensuring quality service. Field Sambos specialize in completing active, hands-on tasks with speed, accuracy, and a smile. House Sambos provide the well-spoken, bootstrap-pulling perspective needed for more white-collar tasks.
New Sambos take a series of low-pressure tests of strength, wit, and skull shape.
Based on their scores, Sambos are divided into House Doers and Field Doers.
Talented House and Field doers auction their time to eager patrons.
Your needs are taken care of.
Based on a recent set of strongly-worded letter bombs, there is some popular dissatisfaction with our service. We hear you. Sambo is committed to evolving, and leaving the worst excesses of the past behind us. To that end, we’re proud to announce the Sambo companion app, Manacle. Despite our hiring standards, a Sambo may occaisionally Read more about We May Have Miscalculated.[…]